Crafting good communications is about… everything except you. It is about your audience.
It’s not about you. It’s not about your product or service or the information you have to share. It is about the person using your product or service or information. It is their story that unfolds. That is what you need to communicate. Help people tell their stories.
Which of these news releases catches your attention better?
“Company ABC is pleased to announce that they have donated 300 coats to kids this winter…”
“No child will go to school cold this winter. Every child who needs a coat now has one, thanks in part to Company ABC’s donation of 300 coats to kids this month…”
The first example is about the company only. It’s about an output (boring!). The second tells the story of the kids first—the outcome—as well as the company’s story (compelling!).
The donation of 300 coats is newsworthy. Is that why the company donated them, to get some PR? Or was it to ensure every child has a winter coat? Hopefully, it was the latter.
That’s the news you want to share. That’s the story that will get media attention because that’s the story that will resonate with their audience and with your audience.
Next time you start writing a news release, ask yourself, whose story am I telling here? And then remind yourself that it’s not about you.
Please share your examples of great opening lines for news releases that tell about outcomes rather than outputs.